Monday, December 21, 2009

WALLS MY PALS

They were five ,each of them always thought that, she is the only who cry in silent and panic in the dark and, rejoice beyond the broken heart in the light of the world , and other four are happy was the thinking of each one of them.

once they went for walk , all were happy just because they were together.when they laugh together world turn back to have a look on those hi five ,well they started to share about their family drama and effect of that on them, really all were heavy hearted and not only that they also had complaint that, parents don't understand them but they also agreed that, its not their mistake nor of us, its only the problem of generation that ,they have never seen or experienced the generation like present we have and we cant step back to past generation.....
( Here they are not talking about generation which include jeans , cell , late night party , or any boy friend ,its about household work . their parents says ,they had responsibility of whole family ,when they were of our age . where as here we are not able to take our own responsibility , hey just imagine what if in this generation you try to take every body's responsibility, the answer we get is either, mind your own business or its none of your business, some may not say it directly as they whisper it within themselves , when come to matter of household work , we feel that we have done enough work and that work is not countable in their account, only hefty work is countable, which is not possible everyday if we are college going students , they compare them to working children who don't go to school and college sometime they warn that we may not be able to proceed our studies if things go in same pattern)

well topic continued with asking that have anyone cried in dark n silent , they were looking at each other and sorrow in their eye of all and she continued and said yeah i do when family drama occur... and another said yeah i too do so, in dark room in silent where i cant be heard in crowd even, and the walls of room are only who can watch us while we cry and only those walls can console us when we will be in arms of them and in future we will miss those walls who supported us when we had no support , we will also thank them by touch with smile n tears if , luckily they will remain same and again she said yeah we have friends , family , and other relations are common who support in our melancholy days but walls are weird to do so.
once night they five were together sorry ,one was missing there, well their question was , have you ever tried to commit suicide or have you ever attempted it ? well one of them answered so gladly, that yeah i thought to do so, the way she replied was something like.. they were feeling as if she feel its funny to do. and moving to second one she too confessed yeah...... once i too thought to do so. ( many people feel or fix to commit it , their are also some people who wish to commit but what to say about their guts they are even afraid to express it in words , but also their are some people who have guts to express but no guts to attempt !) next night all were together even missing one, so they asked the same question to friend ,who was missing last night, well it was serious time when sadly she replied, yeah i have attempted it twice, once with stole ,at that time she felt unconscious at the right time her family members came and hold her and thought it may be because of weakness but still now they don't know that, she tried something thing which is dangerous for her life and also once with knife but she was not successful that time also . After few days one of my relative came to my home , who was close to me and i remember once she also said me that, she have tried to committed suicide, so i asked about it in detail ,but she didn't said in detail means she didn't said the reason but, you know what ! she have tried it trice just imagine how could she ? but she did which was not so easy to do so and she couldn't success in it.


And my friend dared to ask this question to her mother and she replied i never thought to commit but i just think how people dare to do so and from where they get such guts . yeah from here i remember the one who tried to commit it whose family is not yet aware of it , she said its not about guts nor it need something big to happen or anything like that , she said. my reason was silly and i was in school that time that was not my age to take such big step . it just happen when something hurt or panic us , we just lose our conscious and do it, after doing if we are alive we realise how big mistake we did that time and if we are dead then god knows its result. well i said her hey buddy i also wanna try it , she said strictly don't you dare ! i said your so selfish you can enjoy all stuff then why cant i ...... we gave look to each other and smiled ....


From few days I'm discussing this matter with my close ones, when this question was kept in front of them, we just get an answer by their first facial expression. I'm saying first because they just flashback if something happened like that and feel sorry for them self and if they wish to share with us they do or else they don't. they may choose either option but when they explain their facial expressions will be better then first one which shows that they are consoling them self for whatever .

today that is on 31st December 2009 i watched movie named 3 idiots which remind me about five idiots in my life. well movie had lot to learn for parents, teachers and students as well and it was also had concept of suicide which helped to know more about this matter.

and when movie was in end something happened to one college guy i don't know what happened but i speculate that he may realised something or he might have any problem like showed in movie so, he may be frustrated ,he was not conscious his friend was shouting to awake him and my friend next to me was almost panic and was to cry and i screamed at her to control her emotions and my sis offered water to awake him ,anyhow he was taken from there we all were scared and I'm still thinking what would be story behind his condition .

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


today was fantastic day , as i attained seminar first time in my life. it was public seminar not of school or college, it was the topic that why bad things happen to good people, and i learnt lots of things , and also the way to lead a good life, and to alter my life into better way, i got an idea how life is and logic of this world an basis of the things happen to us.


the best thought i grabbed there was people treat with us the way we teach them to treat with us. its very true not even this each word he said was true.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

intangible


i dont know often i feel the air of intangible saddness

which panic me and make me to cry but i dont understand why it happen to me.........

i hardly substitute any other matter so that i should not feel that i'm mentally ill

and friends are medicine in such situation than family....                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   sorry to say but its the matter of fact in my life